Wow. 2012. 12 years since Y2K didn’t happen, 11 years since two airplanes changed our world forever, 9 since a baby girl changed my world forever. And so many more changes each year in between. I wonder what we will look back and remember about 2012? In my own small attempt to make this year really count, I have made only one New Year’s Resolution.
I have resolved to be more aware.
I want to be more aware of what people say to me. I want to listen to my children, my husband, my friends with an open and receptive enough mind to hear the actual intent behind their words. I do not want to give the obligatory response while my mind is elsewhere or (over)react to their words in anger or defense. I want to will give their words the attention and consideration they deserve. How many friendships, marriages, parent-child relationships break down due to something so simple, and so complex, as communication?
My child asks, “Are you still on the phone?”
My child means, “Please come play, you’re my best friend.”
My husband asks, “Are you done cleaning yet?”
My husband means, “The kids are asleep, the house is quiet, can we spend a few minutes alone together? Life’s been busy; I miss you.”
My mother calls. Again. “I just had to tell you (someone posted something funny on facebook / the dog just did a great trick / your dad spilled a glass of grape juice on the rug / insert random event here).”
My mother means, “I miss you, you’re my best friend, I know your life has changed and you don’t need me in quite the same way you once did, but I don’t know how not to take care of you, to worry about you, to be there for you. So I’m calling. A lot. You’ll understand one day.”
(Love you, Mom)
I want to be more aware of how my words, actions and reactions affect others. I do not want my children to grow up thinking stressed is normal, that rushing around at the last minute, snapping at anyone in your way, do or die time is how things get done. It is not and it does not have to be. I want to temper my reactions to my surroundings in order to show them how to properly and healthfully respond to tense situations. I want to soften my words during the most hectic situations; think about my responses and reactions carefully so that they reflect the person I am talking to rather than the situation I am in. I want to think about what will be coming out of my mouth, to be aware of not just how I am saying it, but how it will be received.
I want to be more aware of time and how to spend it well on what matters most. I want to be aware of what is not truly important, so that I can set it aside to spend time on what is. I want to will develop better time management techniques for all the little everyday things that must be done, so I have more time to focus on doing what I love with the people I love. Perhaps even be able to find time to work on my ‘me list’ – the mental list we all have of things we would like to do ‘if we ever found the time.’
So I may have made only one Resolution, but it’s a big one! They say you get out of things what you put in and I believe my family and myself are worth the effort. Now, if I can remember what my resolution was past the second week in January… we’ll be doing great.
Happy New Year! If I am lucky enough to have any readers out there, let me know… what are you hoping to accomplish in 2012?
Like what you have to say. It's true we walk through our lives like zombies not paying attention to what we say do or how that effects others.
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